Let's Talk About Chivalry

Ah, the mysterious concept of chivalry. I read an article today that was essentially a list of chivalrous things that today's men should do more often, and it sparked something in me. I hear about chivalry a lot, mostly about how it's dead, whatever that means. I wanted to take a closer look. Webster defines chivalry as the system of values (such as loyalty and honor) that knights in the Middle Ages were expected to follow (...okay) OR an honorable and polite way of behaving, especially toward women. Obviously the more practiced use of this word is the latter. The most common argument seems to be that men should be more chivalrous these days, because "That's just how they did it back then.". To each their own, everyone is entitled to their opinion yada yada, but I have a tiny problem with this.
Firstly, it's an odd concept to focus on the way things were many, many years ago, and complain that they aren't the same today. Things change. People move forward. Societies grow. Obviously there are many hilariously outdated rules that no longer make sense in the world we live in today. Remember when women couldn't wear pants, or vote, or be in the armed forces, or generally do anything without permission? Good times, right?
The chivalrous acts mentioned in the article included some real gems, such as guys bringing a gift when they meet their girlfriend's parents (that was a thing?), offering their jacket when it's cold out ('cause guys can be cold, no worries), dropping their lady off at the door while they park (they can walk alone), and the old standbys like pulling out your chair, opening your car door, or really opening any door for you. Heaven forbid that we females ever have to touch a door handle.

(if only there was a guy around to close that door)

My main problem with trying to implement such rules today is that our society is in a completely different place than it was when these were ideals. Because what you hear about today is that most women are fighting for equal rights. We're supporting this praised/despised concept of feminism, defined as the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men. We want to be equal to men, in every spectrum. I'm totally into feminism, in fact I could probably write another blog post about it all together. The short version of that would be that I think all human beings should be treated with equal respect.
How do we spout off about needing to be treated as complete equals to men, while in the same breath saying that men should really do all of these things for us simply because they're men and we're women and that's just how it's supposed to be? "Open the door for me, but not because I can't do it myself, because I'm your equal and completely capable. Give me your jacket, but not because I need you to provide for me, it's just polite. Pay for our dates, but not because I'm not an independent woman who can't pay for herself, I can, but you should pay anyway, it's just the chivalrous thing to do." I feel for the guys on this one, I really do. How do they implement this idea of chivalry, without threatening the notion that we're strong, powerful women who don't need no man?
Gentlemen, by all means, be polite and respectful towards your lady. Good luck staying in a relationship if you aren't. But I don't believe in the pressure to follow a set of ideals that were made up decades ago to propagate the idea that woman are less than men and should be handled as such. I don't know how I can rightfully claim that I'm totally a man's equal, but he should probably open my car door for me. To be clear, I won't complain if he does, but I also won't cry about it if he doesn't. Bear in mind that every woman is different. Some may read this and think "Forget this chick, my man better take Chivalry 101 before he dates me.", and that's 100% fine. Personally I would rather live in a more equal society, where women do just as many nice things for men, and men reciprocate not because they feel pressured to, but because they want to.
I've held the door for men before. Do you know why? Because I got to the door first. I've paid for dates and walked on the outside of the sidewalk and please don't for a second think I need you to pull my chair out for me (I think it's terribly awkward). How about instead of focusing on men being chivalrous towards women, why don't we focus on human beings being respectful towards each other in general. Why don't we cultivate a world of kindness all around? Hold the door for anyone. Be polite and courteous to everyone. Then in 50 years when our grandkids are looking to our ideals, and they're being open-minded, kind-hearted individuals, they can say "That's just how they did it back then.".